Getting to Yes, And

Caroline Stokes: Elephants Before Unicorns


Caroline Stokes

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Kelly connects with human capital entrepreneur Caroline Stokes about her new book: “Elephants before Unicorns: Emotionally Intelligent HR Strategies to Save Your Company.

Emotional Intelligence is at the core of your philosophy, right?

“Since Daniel Golmen and many of the emotional intelligence leaders came to the fore and wrote books, they were able to say, actually, it is emotion that helps power every single interaction that you have right now and very decision that you make. Being able to identify the different emotions that are built helps creates the outcome from the conversation that you're having. That argument. We're all unique, there is no cookie cutter guide on everyone having their own style. Tapping into your emotional intelligence helps to understand how you operate with your families and, of course, in your work so you are able to then be most successful.”

You reference Kim Scott and Radical Candor in the book and Second City has created a program with her that uses improv games and exercises to actually practice Radical Candor.

“Everyone is trying to avoid the difficult conversations. And I love the way that you and Kim Scott are working on games you're able to play in those kinds of environments that are really low risk so that you can and learn how to actually give feedback. You can learn how to interpret when something is going in a particular way and you're able to diffuse it in a particular situation and call it by its name at that time. And once you  have developed that muscle and you've played with it in that low risk environment, you're then absolutely able to go to that next level and then use it at work with your employees, colleagues and clients. And it can be very powerful. So, yes, I’m a huge fan of Kim Scott and ‘Radical Candor.’

You write in the book that you won’t get any millennial bashing from me. 

There was somebody saying something quite negative about millennials and I immediately stepped in and said, nope, they're behaving like I would have behaved at 16, 17, 18, 19, 26. I disagree. They are actually more advanced in some of these areas, so just calm down. And the person I was defending, she's a doctor, and she said, ‘Thank you. Thank you for speaking up for us.’ And it's like, well, I have to, You are the people that are going to be driving this world forward. You're the people that have the most energy, the most power right now. And this generation bashing - especially millennial shaming, it's just exhausting.”

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